Return to Regularly Scheduled Program

We went a little long with our International Maritime Satire Week – according to my wife I’m apparently I’m “not allowed to blog on our anniversary.” In any case we are returning you to your regularly scheduled, non-satirical NextWar Blog, but first wanted to recap our twitter feed (@CIMSEC) of headlines you might not have seen:

– SECNAV Reintroduces Grog in the US Navy:

– Autobiography Reveals Alfred T. Mahan Spent Nights Secretly Writing “Twilight” Fan Fiction

– CNO Introduces Equal Opportunity Red Teams:

– Following Success of Shipboard Breathalyzers, SECNAV Introduces New Parental Chaperone Program

– UAV Weds Topgun Instructor

– Pentagon Announces Sequestration Scenario for Navy

– General Atomics Partners with Cyberdyne for New T-800 Drone

– US Joins UNCLOS; Washington Immediately Seized by UN Forces

– US Navy Introduces New LCS Mission Packages:

– Sign-up now for winter Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps-Navy Photoshop Seminars!

– Xinhua Oped Says Great Barrier Reef a Sacred and Integral Part of China

– Iranian Navy Plans to Alleviate Burden of Global Maritime Responsibilities from US

– New Somalia National Government Developing a Bailout Package for Failing Piracy Industry

– Admiral’s Staff Completes PowerPoint Magnum Opus – To Be Performed at 1630 Brief.

– Sneak Preview of CNO’s US Navy Birthday Message: “Antarctica Will be Ours!”

– IRGCN Admiral says Iranian Navy Plans to Patrol US Great Salt Lake

– Mothership Tours and Skiff Rides at Somali Piracy Week:

– North Korea Loses 4 Patrol Boats in Skirmish with South Along Border, Declares “Glorious Unparalleled Victory”

– US Navy to Power Great Blue Fleet with Unobtainium

– Chinese name second aircraft carrier “Panda Express”

– Putin Announces New, Innovative Naval Policy: Build Massive Navy: 

– US Navy CO Fired to Meet Navy Times Quota

– MQ-8B Fire Scout Spends Crew Rest Dominating Friends on X-Box

– Pakistan Says Claims Osama Bin Laden Found in Abottabad “Insultingly Untrue”

– Spain Says Iran Has Secret Vintner Tech, Crossing Red Wine Line; Ahmejinedad Threatens to Close Strait of Gibraltar

– President Deploys US 10th Fleet to Cyberspace:

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